[ Last time on Power Rangers: Neo Gaiden 20X6, Kat was revealed to be the green ranger and then hit by a city bus. ] [ OR SO YOU THOUGHT. ] (I was totally fooled!) [ Actually it's still 5/17/2091, evening, here at Las(er-) Momo's. The group is actually a bit dispersed, right now; Rochelle has been dispatched to the first floor to pay the tab, and likely to converse with her former boss. Zak has decreed things 'heavy' and gone to swim through the sea of writhing bodies on the dance floor. ] (Asking girls to grok his text.) (And probably getting slapped.) (Why does he keep calling things heavy?) (Is there some sort of problem with gravity in the future?) (Gravity.) [ Yue is... probably looking inscrutably at some immobile furniture fixture. This leaves, in the booth, Kat and Xavier-nee-Thren-nee-Xavier... probably not talking and not meeting each others' gazes! Meenee staato! ] * Katherine rubs her face and looks upwards a moment, before letting out a big sigh. After a moment more she comments, "Funny. Impossible happens, and I can't decide what to yell at you about first." * Katherine then looks back to him and smirks slightly. "Or whether to let you off because of death." * Xavier has been staring down at the dance floor with a contemplative expression, a faraway look in his eyes. Those comments get him to turn his head back and blink at Kat in... something approaching surprise. There's a moment while he considers his responses, before shrugging and saying: "I missed you too." (Technically I didn't because: dead, but it sounds good.) * Katherine 's smirk slips away. "No you didn't. But... well, yeah, I did." She scratches on the table slightly. "Xavier gonna remember any of this? Or what's in your head?" * Xavier doesn't look sure. "I don't know. *I* remember everything he does from when I 'woke up', but I can't just go rifling through his memories. So yeah, he's going to remember what you say, but I don't think he knows more than..." A pause, then he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm guessing. It's not like there's precedent here." * Katherine nods slightly, then says, "Just needed to know... makes it a lot worse to hand him over if he does." * Katherine looks off to the side for a few moments of silence, then chuckles faintly to herself. * Xavier fires back an inquisitive look, but doesn't actually say anything. * Katherine then turns back to Xavier, catches the look, and pauses a moment before asking, "So... what'd you n'Roch talk about? She's been talking more, but... crying's kinda new for her without her collapsing to the ground, yeah?" * Xavier gives Kat a good, long, decidedly neutral look, before closing both his eyes. "Things that neither of us had a chance to say." * Katherine is silent a moment, then chuckles weakly and goes, "Yeah, I guess that was going around. Figured... Roch'd have said something beforehand." Her hand digs into the table a moment. "I mean, it's Roch, right?" * Xavier decides point-blank is best, and leans back in the booth. "I'm not exactly sure what you mean. Though if you're asking if she said to me 'by the way, you're going to die', she didn't." (*spends Wii points on SoM and Shining Force 2* Damnit, I want POkemon Puzzle League too.) * Katherine looks back at him, squints, and replies, "She knew, though." She rubs her face. "Guess it's good you didn't know. Might kill you again if you'd knew it was coming and didn't say anything." (That game is awesome!) (I know, I gifted it to a certain dorm room.) * Xavier glances off to the side. "It's hard to know the future. It's got to be unbelievably painful for her, all things considered." * Katherine stops rubbing her face and looks back to him. "Thren, we all got shit to deal with, alright? I mean, she's still alive, and I know she let you die." She looks off to the side. "Fuck. Dammit, Thren. You didn't have to die." * Xavier lets that sink in, briefly, before saying in a quiet voice, "Everyone does, eventually. And I might not have known it *then*, but *now* I can look back and see... if I *hadn't*, more people would have. It was the right decision. I don't have any regrets." * Katherine growls and slams her hands on the table. "Why? Why was it the right decision? I could have taken him down if Roch had just fucking told me." * Xavier raises an eyebrow. "'Him'?" Kataki. You didn't. *She* didn't. That's how things happened. It's... * Xavier blinks. "What year is it?" 20901 One fucking year, Thren. Almost to the day. (2091.) * Xavier definitely looks taken aback by that. "Alright. It's been... a year. Have you really spent all of it feeling this way?" * Katherine looks at him, then shrugs. "Not... all of it." A slight pause, then, "First couple days were shock and tearing into Nuriko because she could take it." She smirks at him for a moment, then her look just gets flat. "Funeral... well, it was a kinda ceremonial thing, your mom's not the public kind. After that... well, there was shit that needed done. Brain flu tore things up. So I did it." * Xavier pauses a moment, then looks away. "Try to see it from Mother's point of view. In less than 20 years she's lost everyone close to her." * Katherine shrugs and leans back. "Yeah, I'm not... just sayin' so you know." Zak n'Roch went back to TC... Zak's trying to pull it together there. Have to go help him from time to time, not that I tell him. * Katherine rubs her face. "Didn't need to deal with that. Well, until now." * Xavier again glances at the dance floor, but with all the people in the throng, Zak can't really be easily picked out, even with his distinctive look. After a second, he turns back to Kat. "So life went on. That's a good thing to know," he says with a smile. "The universe didn't end after I died." * Katherine looks back at him, then says, "Yeah, I guess. It's a lot like life. Took everyone about six months just to... get their heads on straight. Everyone everyone." Old parents dying, random deaths from insanity and the actual war... Was a long time for them. We just kinda jumped over it. * Xavier mmms faintly. "You're displacing," he says eventually. "I asked about you, and now you're talking about everyone else." * Katherine looks back at him, then sighs and says, "Figured you should know." Fuck, Thren. I'm getting real tired of people dying because I fucked up. On about a year clock, now, so I figure Zak's next. * Katherine then looks to the side. "You don't want to know how I'm feeling. Hell, I don't want to know how I'm feeling. I'm _tired_ of feeling, Thren." * Xavier glances at Kat for a moment, and then says, in the slow tones of someone trying to, say, work out a complex word problem, "How is my death your fault? Because you didn't have all the information, or weren't in the right place, or..." The end of that statement actually, however, makes him slam the table with one fist. * Katherine looks startled, then narrows her eyes. "Dammit, Thren, what'd you always say? Entire way through? We were supposed to trust eachother." And then when we were almost done, almost made it all the way, Roch sees you dying, and nothing. I see you fighting, and... let you finish it. Family shit. (*deletes his pose* Alright then.) (It's still relevant, but she had to finish the thought!) * Xavier says, perhaps a little more forcefully than intended, "She made a choice. That's what life *is*: making choices. But if you're worried you're going to screw up in the future the only alternative is to lay down and die." * Katherine snorts and says, "She made a choice, sure. That the choice you woulda made? Let's not trust Kat, she might fuck things up?" How about, 'I know how hard it is to have to decide the course of history, so I don't want to burden my friend with that'? * Katherine throws up her hand. "We were deciding the course of history the whole damn way! That's what it means to pick up and be the damn hero!" I told you I made that call! I made it back in that tea shop. After spending a week in my head. * Katherine rubs her face and mutters. "Wasn't just her. Wasn't just any of us." Not that you two didn't run off all the damn time, but I figured you had it all under control. * Xavier leans back, his -- or Thren's -- typically serene expression returning. "Maybe we did. Maybe what happened is what was *supposed* to happen. But my question is: who *cares* anymore? I'm... grateful that you wish you could have saved me. Really. But if you can't let it go, if you're stopping yourself because you're afraid of it repeating, then you've stopped living." * Xavier adds, quietly: "I didn't die so you could do that." * Katherine slams forward, grabbing his arm and hissing back, "Dammit, Thren, _I_ could have died so you could have lived! You had this shit all figured out, y--you..." she blinks her eyes and swallows, then pulls back and looks away, eyes shut. "You were so much better than I am." I can't figure out how to do sane. Can't even come close. And then you fucking die, and say you were WRONG the whole way? * Katherine takes a shaky breath. "What the fuck was I supposed to do?" * Xavier sits there, and doesn't pull his arm back. Eventually, however, he asks in a quiet voice, "Do you know what I was wrong about?" * Katherine is silent a moment, then replies quietly, "No. Kinda... the problem with last words, Thren..." * Xavier points his other hand at his head. "I killed my own father. I *nearly* killed the people we were fighting with to 'save the world'. Because of the... voices, you know? The urge. And because of that I separated myself from the world. I didn't get too close. I kept up a wall. And I thought: maybe when I die, I'll have accomplished something good." * Xavier shakes his head. "All I accomplished was *dying*, Kat. And this... situation aside, there aren't any second chances! There were so many things I could have done, so much there was to see or feel... I didn't do it. And that was *wrong*." * Katherine turns her head back towards him and rubs her face, clearly fighting off tears. She's silent a moment, then says quietly, "You got to see Sleythin, you learned how to control yourself, you saw all... kinds of shit, Thren. I mean, what the hell do you have to regret but THAT you're dead?" * Xavier shuts his eyes. "There were things. Trust me." * Katherine sighs, then says, "Fine. Well, you might have all this shit you wanna live for, Thren. That's great. That's why I shoulda died for you." * Katherine squeezes her eyes shut again. "I didn't have anything to live for BEFORE you died but the mission." And the moments. * Xavier opens one eye, then gets up and out of the booth. When he's out, he turns around and puts both hands on the table, staring at Kat with frank intensity. "MAKE SOME." * Katherine looks up at him, startled, then she says quietly, shrinking back, "Don't... you think I tried?" * Katherine looks away. "I tried with Nuriko. I honestly fucking did. Several times. But what the hell do Chako's daughter and Black Bean's daughter have for a chance?" A chance that Chako and Black Bean never had. * Katherine looks at him, eyes wide, then lets out a strangled laugh and go, "That's--that's horrible." * Xavier sighs and brings one hand up, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know that's not what I meant." * Katherine lets out another laugh, and rubs her face. "Can't help it. Dammit, Thren... sometimes things just don't work." Not everyone gets a happy ending. * Katherine looks back to him and adds, "Hell, just because you think you can love someone sure as hell don't mean that you'll get any of that back." * Xavier raises his voice, again. "Not everything is going to work! You're going to be hurt and feel loss and sometimes, honestly, life is going to be awful, but the point is that the next day you get up and try again!" * Katherine growls and replies, "I'm not dead yet, am I?" THEN ACT LIKE IT. (Well, you wanted to make him mad. Good work!) (Awesome!) * Katherine looks back at him, then says, "What the fuck does that even MEAN, Thren!" * Xavier shuts his eyes for a moment. "I knew from... we had one night, and I knew it wasn't going to work because we both wanted to die. And it was going to be a competition, I could feel it. Who's more awful? Who's going to get to martyr first?" One eye opens. "I think I won, and it's not a title I want." * Katherine snorts and replies, "Trade you. You clearly have so many things you want to do." * Katherine throws up her hands. "Should I drink all day? See if I can tie Luanne down for a night? Skate with the Fangs down an ice slope well over its tolerance?" * Xavier points at Kat, unabashedly. "That sort of thing is exactly what I mean! Are you saying you *don't*? You help Zak and DON'T TELL HIM? Good lord, WHY?" Because I don't want him thinking he owes me anything. And I sure as hell don't want him to get the wrong idea. Or are you afraid of having a connection with him? * Katherine smirks and says, "I'd rather get mixed up with Roch than him. Come on. Teenagers in TC." There's nothing there to have a connection. Don't change the subject. * Katherine replies, annoyed, "I wasn't." * Xavier brings both hands up and cups his face for a moment. His reply is a little muffled, as a result. "I'm not a telepath anymore. I don't know what you're thinking and, for damn near the first time ever, I'm wishing I still were so I could rifle around in there and figure out why you're determined to be miserable." * Katherine is silent a moment, then she says quietly, "Because... I tried, and I--" * Katherine rubs her face, then grabs his arm and asks him, pleading, "What else am I not doing with my life that I should, Thren? Going to stare at my mom and try to keep Chako's brain from turning on? What haven't I experienced, between Chako and I?" How long are you going to keep blaming her for everything? * Katherine 's hand tightens on his arm. "Don't change the subject." * Xavier says, evenly, "I wasn't." * Katherine then adds, "I've seen alien planets, different dimensions, had _all_ kinds of sex and alcohol, known all sorts of people, and feels like I've saved the world two or three or however many times." And none of that's ever made you happy? Really? * Katherine replies, quietly, "For a moment or two, sure. A minute here. An hour there." * Xavier shuts his eyes, then sits back down and opens them again. "Sometimes that's all there is. Just because it's gone doesn't mean you'll never be happy again." * Katherine closes her eyes. "So I'll be happy again. For a moment. That not enough for you? I'm wasting my life 'cause of that?" Fuck, Thren... every time, it all comes crashing down. Dead bodies, by the bucket. Flat eyes, staring into mine... friends I can't forget because they trusted me and died. * Katherine sighs. "Fuck, Thren, if I've tried everything you can think of and it still doesn't work..." (Stop saying "Fuck, Thren" in sequence, it's making him nervous.) (Ha.) (She probably does it on purpose.) * Xavier leans back. "Find the things you don't do, then." * Katherine is silent a moment, then she says quietly, "I wish you were still a telepath, too, Thren. I don't know where to start on this magical trip of happiness." All I know's that I'm responsible for keeping you... Xavier, whatever... Roch, Zak, and Yue alive. * Xavier tilts his head. "Why do you say that?" * Katherine laughs weakly. "Don't even know if I should drink or not--huh?" She looks to him. "Because that's what I'm doing. Got hired to take Xavier into TC, Roch and Zak wanted along, Yue too. So that's where I am." * Xavier remains sounding curious. "No, that means you're responsible for the job, maybe. But what makes you responsible for keeping them alive?" * Katherine is silent for a moment, then, "My dreams, I guess. Don't want to add another body to the pile. Another pair of blank eyes." Responsibility of those of us with the skills, Thren. Sounds like you think of it as a burden. (AFK for a little bit.) * Katherine closes her eyes. "It's not... like that. But you know it is too. Every dead body's another on your mind, in your dreams, on your brush. If you're human, really human... you can't put that shit down." Can't let it happen on your watch. * Xavier mms. "Maybe. But if... if you *resent* it, then what's the point?" * Katherine looks back at him, then sighs and says quietly, "I don't resent it. I just... am not happy. Trust me, the alternative's crap. I'm a hell of a lot happier doing it than not, Thren." Then smile a little. * Katherine looks back at him, then manages a faint smile and replies, "Don't want to mock the dead. Much." ("Even Chako smiled." "... :|") (:|) As the local authority: they don't care. And if they DID trust you, and liked you, and followed you... they would want you to be happy, not slowly killing yourself in their names. * Katherine is silent a moment, then, "But like I said... I don't have a path to happy." There's just nothing for me to reach for right now, you know? Then don't. Enjoy what you have. Talk to Zak. Tell him the REAL reason you're helping him, not the one you made up just now. ("The money?" "...you're hopeless." ":|") * Katherine looks at him funny, then says, "That is the real reason. Mostly." She rubs her face. "I'm not kidding about it not being some stupid crush shit, Thren. Just because I got jealous of you being pulled away from me doesn't mean I moon after every fucking person I sleep with." * Xavier tilts his head at Kat, and ruins the entire effect by saying: "You slept with Zak?" * Katherine blinks, then says, "What, didn't I just--ugh." * Katherine then rubs her face. "Yes, between Heather and Nuriko." * Xavier waves a hand dismissively, trying not to laugh. "Anyhow. What I MEAN is that you help him because you care what happens to him, and to Rochelle, and POSSIBLY to Twilight City. Because doing something good makes you feel good. Which maybe you didn't know until just now, but luckily you have me here to tell you." * Katherine frowns at him, then scratches her cheek and mutters, "I knew that, I just... isn't that fucking obvious?" But like anything, it just... don't last, and so you fucking yell at me for 'moments' and for 'never being happy' and crap. Kat. Look at Zak's face the next time you glance in his direction. I mean, REALLY look at it. * Katherine leans on the table. "And what am I looking for?" * Xavier stares at Kat like she's insane, because: he figured she'd understand that was rhetorical. He runs a hand through his hair and looks away, a little bit. "Bowel-knotting terror is a good start." * Katherine snorts and says, "That's fine with me. Watching him flinch is fun." * Xavier just buries his face in his hands. (You'd do better if you subbed Roch for Zak. ;) (He's not trying to set you up romantically! Jesus!) (That's not what I mean!) (I do have a good OTP for Kat though. it's a GIANT METEOR) (OH NOEZ) (She's more likely to give a damn about Roch.) (THAT IS PART OF THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE) * Katherine chuckles a little and murmurs, "Figure he's got to fear someone." (Also let us wrap this up.) (If that's the problem, explain it!) (And alright.) (He can't read OOC comments! He doesn't know!) (It's worth a shot!) (...aww, thank you, Mecha.) (The fact that she'd care more about Roch than Zak should be obvious at this point anyway.) (Except for the fact that she spent the entire beginning of this conversation cursing Rochelle. ;P) (There is that.) (But also spent some of it anti-cursing Rochelle!) (It's complex! *flails*) * Xavier shakes his head. "My point is, though, that no... it's not always obvious." * Katherine is silent a moment, then, "Guess it can't be. You never picked it up, huh." * Xavier glances away. "That's not it." * Katherine sighs. "Then what is it, Thren? What haven't you told me, or how am I failing, or whatever? You're the one with the standards and the knowledge and the 'Don't let anything slip away.'" * Xavier pauses a moment, then says quietly, "You have to hold on tight. But you can't be afraid to let go. That's... all, I guess." He looks up. "Smile more, Kat. Find fun in the things you do, accept the things you can't change. Because in the end everyone ends up the same." * Katherine looks across at him for a moment, serious, then half-smiles and says, "You make 'bout as much sense as ever, Thren. Xavier reminds me of you, you know. Same Earther ways. But he just doesn't have the cryptic shit going on." * Xavier looks down at his hands, then shrugs. "I don't know how I ended up 'here'. That might be why. I'm trying not to think about it too much." * Katherine mms, then says, "For what it's worth, I'll try." She's silent a second, then adds quietly, "You're... just an image anyway, you know. Know everything he did. Can say what he would because he can't." * Xavier nods once. "That's true. To be honest, I don't think 'I' am Threnody, not really. A way of thinking that's like him, but that's about all." * Katherine shrugs and says, "Wish I had that. Could put it in my pocket, argue with it for a couple hours... figure out what the hell is going on with someone who's walked this road." * Katherine chuckles faintly. "Guess that was always part of why." * Xavier shakes his head. "You'd be reliant on it. Not... really healthy." People rely on eachother all the time, Thren. (*reads backscroll*) (SO MUCH BACKSCROLL) * Katherine looks over at him. "Ain't that the point?" (I'm still caught up on the fact that you guys gave Black Bean a daughter?) (It might not even be true!) (and uh Kat knows her biblically?) (Bible doesn't approve of that sort of activity.) (The sea be confusing, Josh. The sea be confusing.) (brb, blood dripping from my ear.) (Look it made dramatic sense at the time) (I am but a slave to my muse) (I can only accept this if it was part of a string of 5 or 6 "bum bum BUUUUUUM"s.) * Xavier shrugs. "Yes, from time to time. Which isn't bad. But just like it's never good to always be alone, it's never good to only have worth in terms of other people, too." * Katherine leans back and looks up. "Fightin' side by side with people's funny like that, Thren. But you know that already." It's always about your buddy. (Dog!) (Dog!) * Xavier shakes his head as he gets up and out of the booth. "No, it's not. It's about what you want to accomplish." He pauses. "I need some air..." And with that he's going to head outside, parting shot or no! * Katherine turns her head, glancing after him, mentally debating... and then shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling again. She murmurs to herself, quietly, "Only if you do it together, Thren." [ Who gets the last word in? Thren, because he's going to die again! HAHAHA! Death is fun for all. ] [ End mini!]